pin-up of the week

Sam Cooke
21, from Manchester

"People ask me all the time if I have had a boob job. It really annoys me."

I'm nothing if not patriotic. I love America. We lead the world in energy consumption, obesity, religious fundamentalism, and violent gun deaths. That's a lot to be proud of. And that's not all, because we also boast some of the biggest tits in the world! Hell yeah! 'Cause if we can't grow 'em big enough the old-fashioned way, well then, we've got the means and the medical know-how to just go ahead and bigger 'em up ourselves.

Unlike like the blokes on the other side of the Atlantic. Take the U.K. tabloid The Sun, and their famous Page 3 feature, for example. Those daft wankers actually have a no fake tits policy! Can ya believe it? I mean, sure, they got some big-titted gals on there, (like Keeley Hazell). But big tits can always be bigger, am I right?

Which brings us to our weekly pin-up, Page 3 girl Sam Cooke. Now, I love Sam, and I always enjoy looking at her pictures. Plus, it's obvious from this recent Lodge shoot that she likes records, and that means she's all right in my book. Anyway, it's not like her tits are small or anything, but just think about how much better she'd look with giant, surgically enhanced mams, like a pair of overinflated balloons stuck to her chest. I'm just sayin'.

Oh, well. Until The Sun changes it's policies, I guess we'll just have to content ourselves with the natural endowments of those lovely Page 3 lasses.